Since I announced this blog, a lot of people have questioned the name. How did I come up with it? Who’s grounded? Who’s grounding you? Is Cora grounded? How are you staying grounded? And so on. Well, I have all the answers for you!
Just kidding I have about zero answers to anything at all, but I can at least try to clear this up for you.
Parenting is not a small thing. It’s pretty monumental, and of course I thought it would be hard. But I was a teacher, and before and even during my pregnancy, I thought to myself, “I’ve SO got this!” But literally the second I laid down on that surgical table for my C-section, I took all that confidence back. It was immediately replaced with complete and utter fear, doubt, and distress. I was not ready to do this. I was of course overwhelmed with excitement to finally meet my daughter, but I was so terrified. That feeling multiplied when I got home from the hospital.
I had so many thoughts running through my head about how to raise this precious little girl. I wanted her to be confident, smart, bold, and self-loving. I wanted to give her everything, yet the tools for her to do it all for herself too. I wanted her to take on the world, yet stay grounded in what it means to be a good, kind, and respectful person.
How the hell was I supposed to accomplish all that? I am a mere human. And I don’t have the darnedest idea what I’m doing.
So there’s the first part of the answer. I want to raise a confident yet grounded daughter. Here ensues my journey to do so.
Am I grounded (like in timeout)? If so, who grounded me? No and nobody. I couldn’t ask for anything better than to be home with my girl, watching her grow and change everyday. I’m trying not to watch the calendar drift closer to mid-May, when I go back to work full-time.
However, there have been some really hard days, moments when I felt stir crazy. I had Cora in the dead of winter, and we’ve had about 5 blizzards since her birth. It has been slightly isolating, if I’m being honest. I took her out for as many walks as I could in those early days, but it was so freakin’ cold. And also? This flu season has been unreal. I’m all for getting out and about, but I was not really interested in a trip back to the hospital. No, thank you.
Friends came to visit, as did family. But then they left. Which was great because then I could sleep! Except Cora didn’t want to nap. And she was screaming. And she kept pooping (that word has really crept up in my “words most often used” list). And Daddy wasn’t home yet. And oh God look at that laundry pile! And. And. And.
So on certain days I felt a little stranded; like I lost myself a bit. I couldn’t go anywhere, and the days were long and quiet (mostly). I was pretty lonely — we just moved into a new town right before Cora was born. Cabin Fever struck pretty quickly. Still, being stuck in our house in the dead of winter brought me closer to my daughter, the silver lining of those tough months that I’ll always remember.
In the need for something that was uniquely mine, Grounded At Home was born. I knew it would bring so much: some quiet solitude for a few minutes each day, a sense of community with other mamas going through much of the same, a new skill to learn, and a creative outlet.
Why the hell not?!
Well, it’s not like I have a lot of time on my hands. I’m also going back to work in less than 30 days. But honestly, if you know me, I do a lot better with a full plate. I feel a lot more grounded in the “now” that way. There is a lot less excess time to waste if I give myself a purpose, and I really hope that this brings a sense of intention to each day.
And finally, I want my daughter to live a bold and confident life. To do things that scare the crap out of her. If that’s what I want for her, you bet your ass I need to do the same. I think doing things outside of your comfort zone keeps you grounded and fills your tank. It’s not easy, but I’m going to keep hitting “publish.”
What keeps you grounded and fills your tank? Did you feel a little lost when you first had your babe? What helped you find your way back?